No honey, you don't look false

An interesting discussion ensued in the comments to the previous post. If you are genuinely not feeling too enamored of your wife, is it husbandoprax (HP) to tell her "I love you" or buy her a valentine's card? Or in the other classic example, telling your wife she doesn't look fat when she clearly does.

Of course I can't speak from personal experience here, my wife is so amazing that there is never even one second where I think jeez, she's gone completely psycho. But there are people who at some point(s) in their marriage may be not quite as much in love as on their wedding night.

So what should such a husband do? Be brutally honest? Lie? Some might say that the real "truth" here is that the husband does, in general, like his wife, and wishes he could be in love more. Therefore telling a white lie here, in the hopes that it will eventually be true, is ok.

Or even if he is resigned to the fact that his love will never come back, maybe the fact that he wishes he was more in love is enough to make it true, or at least morally acceptable to say so?

The parallel to the Orthoprax (OP) is that maybe if an OP wishes TMS and the ikkarimm were true, even though he seriously doubts that they are, or even if he is convinced they are not, maybe that's enough to declare a belief of sorts?

I think there is some validity to these avenues of thought, and maybe some in the closet OrtHopraxers console themselves with these kind of kvetches - but it's not for me. I'm not interested in developing a philosophy/theology where I kvetch to show that I have "belief" so everything is OK.

On the contrary, my agenda is more radical. I intend to have a philosophy where I davkah don't have beliefs in the ikkarim, and its still OK.

Not only that, I want to insist that Modern Orthodoxy be comfortable with this. I want to tell MO that if all they are is Chareidim with modern dress and movies then that's not good enough. MO needs to be TRULY modern, but still "frum", to show the world that a non fundamentalist religion (in every sense) can still be incredibly valued, moral, ritualistic and all the rest.

My agenda is to outfrum the Modern Orthodox, yet be completely accepting of the REAL TRUTH. Or at least the TRUTH ABOUT THE REAL TRUTH, since nobody knows the REAL TRUTH.

I want to say to Torah; "Honey, in truth you do look a bit 'false', but it doesn't matter, because I love you anyways."